2. When I went to lunch today,
I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out.
I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home.
He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes,
sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"
She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies
and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."
I said, "Well, why are you crying?"
She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal.
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
She said, "I can't remember where I live!"
3. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name!
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.